My youngest is now 15. It is really hard to deal with knowing she is my last baby.
She has made me so proud. She is sweet. She loves to sing and is a whole vibe.
I love all my kids and watching them grow has been amazing.
It is a hard pill to swallow knowing that I am done having kids and they are all almost adults. My oldest is about to be 23, and next is 19, and then my youngest at 15. I think about this a lot.
My kids have been through many things. My 2 oldest lost their dad in 2010. My husband is the only Dad they know and he has never treated them any different. Our youngest doesn't look at her siblings as step siblings. They are her siblings. We don't differenciate based on who has a different Dad.
My children were raised to not treat people any certain way because of their color of skin, race, sexual preference, culture, religion or anything else that typically causes a rift in our human life.
They know people are people and should be treated fairly. We all bleed the same. If someone treats others badly my family is quick to be like ok, this is not for us.
My kids were raised to understand that a persons behavior shouldn't be allowed to be made excuses for.
So here is some things my kids understand:
If you choose to drink, be safe, have a DD, and if you are not a good person drinking you need to stay alone. If you choose to be dumb and be abusive and mean, you need to stay away til you sober up and own up to whomever you treated badly. If one cannot own up to that...we will stay away until you get your stuff together. Or we will only be around when you are sober. If we explain how it is affecting us and you do not respect that, then that is a you problem and it is something that needs to be thought over because it becomes a sad life when you push people away due to bad choices. We will always be supportive of recovery, and proud but we will not enable choices that can make your life go even further downhill.
This same thought process applies to drugs. Only person that can get help is a person that wants help. People cannot make another person change. They have to be ready to want it more then whatever thier crutch in life is. It does not make someone a bad person, but I also do not buy that it is a disease. A disease you cannot control what happens. Things that become an addition, starts off as a choice. I know that sounds harsh, but, its reality.
If someone lays a hand on my family, I give full permission to give it back to them. Protect yourself always and do not become a victim. If you see something, say something. You can not help people that are afraid to do things. If I knew someone was being hurt, and was afraid to do something about it, and they reach out...I am like momma bear. Lets roll.
My kids know I accept them no matter what. They can talk to me about anything. They are free to make their own choices but they need to be respectful as well.
My family knows they can call me anytime and I will come as long as I have wheels to get there. If not I have connections to get them out of the situation.
They know we do not have millions of dollars. They appreciate the things we do have. It has been a hard pill to swallow for them to understand that this country is not stable for the regular joe.
My family is open to everyone that is honest and open with us. If someone needs help and we can, we do.
I think everyone should have a community, a tribe. People should have a safe space to be able to express themselves.
Anyhow, I think back to how I grew up and I want to be for others what I didn't have from my own family.
